My horoscope, from Jonathan Cainer.

Your September Forecast: You can't be everywhere at once. Nor can you be all things to all men... or women. Better to recognise as much and draw a few clear lines in the sand, than to kid yourself that things are any different and thus wind up living in a world full of vague half-promises and quarter-compromises. Saturn is moving into Virgo. It has been nearly three decades since we last saw an astrological arrival quite like this. For the next two years, you're going to be facing facts and accepting realities. But you're also going to be making magnificent progress as you direct all your energy and effort into a decision that's long overdue. The change starts right now.

That sounds about right. I'll also be turning thrity soon. Days to go...

'Face facts and accept realities' that usually crops up every now and then. But such is life.

Anyway, I've gotta get ready for work today, this is my weekend on. Which means an easy weekend to come. Yay!

Back to life.

I agreed to do a comedy course with my mate.

Four lessons ending in a performance at a club somewhere. To be honest, I really don't feel like doing it, I didn't feel like doing it when I booked it. I just said "why not?" and did it. My heart wasn't there.

So why am I so caught up on it?

Could it be that I feel bad for standing my mate up? Nah. Not really.

Might it be that somewhere deep within there lies a little bit of my old performing self in there, that just wants to get out? ERm, maybe... but I do not feel it.

Am I lacking in something that I want? Dunno, can't be sure. There's a lot that I want. All of many things in many places I say.

I didn't go to the last one either, so I believe I've missed three. Of course, one of the things on my mind is that I can always do some comedy at any point I want. I only need to book a five minute gig. No trouble really. So whatever I do, or not, the option will always be there, so it's all good.

So, if I really don't want that, then what?

I've been entertaining notions of living far far away again. I'd love to live on a chain of islands somewhere. Go scuba diving, swim, enjoy the beach, stary skys, long sunny days.

But, I need to find out how. Although, that usually takes care of itself I've found. I lived in China and Italy, so I know it can be done.

Horoscope time methinks. From Jonathan Cainer...

If you can see the end from the beginning, you probably aren't planning to make much of a journey. Unless, just possibly, you are standing at the top of a mountain and your destination is another peak in the far distance. Then, by the time you've made your descent, travelled through the intervening valleys and ascended all over again, you will have passed through much challenging territory. Be adventurous now. Set yourself a goal you are not sure you can reach.

Hmm, a goal I think I cannot reach.
Outer space, nah, one day I will go, especially when it is cheaper and technology has come along.
Island life, like I just mentioned.
Getting into space and fighting some kind of intergalactic space battle.
Writing a book.

I dunno...

Hmm, thinky thinky...

Horoscope, from Jonathan Cainer.

"Next time you go on eBay, try running a search for sackcloths and ashes. You won't find many for sale. Nobody is wearing them anymore. They are so out of fashion that there is not even a second-hand market. 'Guilt, darling, how very 20th century. We don't do that sort of thing anymore.' Actually, we do. We do far too much of it. The world would be a better place with a little less self-flagellation and a little more constructive action. Forget your worries and regrets now. Just be glad of what's possible."

Yeah...

There's plenty of time. Also, on another note, I might get back round to writing again, I've been sparten to these pages recently. There's also a few things to get off my chest.

On a positive note before I dash to bed, I'll have three days off of work starting the end of saturday afternoon. Yep THREE whole days.

I've already worked the two compulsary bank holidays for the year. So I don't have to do the third. Yay!

I sorely need a rest. I have to get myself back, I've been running on low.

Beddy bye time now.

Night.

Horoscope, from Jonathan Cainer.

"By all means, conserve energy. Far too much is wasted and the world is suffering as a result. There are, though, other commodities in endless supply. We can have as much as we want to. They are self-replenishing and pollution free. Life, for example. Love. Or luck. For some strange reason, though, we often envisage them to be less freely available than petrol. Just as love comes back to those who give it out, good fortune finds its way to those who have faith in its existence - as you'll see today"

I'm still waiting...

Horoscope, from Jonathan Cainer.

Mistakes, they say, are easily made. As we were saying yesterday, we may be wrong about this. We regret things that actually, we should be proud of. We needlessly apologise for decisions that, eventually, turn out to have been wise. You still feel inclined to suspect that a mistake has been made in your life lately. This weekend's events may well inspire you to feel that you have been mistaken about where you thought you were mistaken. It is time to look at an old situation with fresh eyes.

Yeah, that sounds about right.

I hope it proves to be right, life at the moment is anything but great. We'll see...

I want too write more, but resting my head on my left arm whilst tying with my right hand, is a bit tricky.

I also need to sleep. Night.

I don't believe it!

Who watched "One foot in the grave"?

Loads of people this side of the pond. Guess who served himself off the show. Yep. Me.

I looked up and thought, I recognise that face, nah, can't be, then he walked on over put his basket down and sure enough. It was Richard Wilson.

I had to bite my lip not to say "I don't believe it!" I merely enquired as to how he were. To which he replied, "very well thank you."

Very friendly man. If I see him again in the shop I might well say "I don't believe it!"
He'd probably have a laugh, nothing like the response Father Ted got.

Anyway, back to life or rather, my horoscope. From Jonathan Cainer.

"Are you happy with what you can see? If so, keep looking, you will only find more to appreciate. If not, look even more closely. There is something you have so far failed to spot. Understandably enough, you are starting to have profound reactions to intense developments. You are beginning to feel uncomfortable about parts of the past. Yet this is all immensely positive - part of a process that can only lead to greater power, strength and success. You have made no mistake."

Pretty much spot on. Although I'm more the have to look harder sort in this one. So I will. Which means I'd better get on with a couple of things right now.

I don't believe it!

Sleepy...

It's late for me at the moment. Coming on to 9pm I've had a good day. Work went quickly and I soon found myself sitting at home in the living room enjoying a cup of tea.

I saw my old friend the other evening and half the stuff we spoke about I would never write about here. Most belongs to the pages of some mystery book. She's a rare person in the world. I kind of wish we would have more of a conversation rather than her rolling off a reel in her head. It takes a lot to listen to her. I like to limit my contact to once a few weeks. It's not my time when I'm visiting her.

Anyway, it was nice to see her again. Until next time.

It's nearly Aprill already, Aprill fools day, I'll wonder if I'll prank anyone... Probably just my sister-in-law.

I thought I would have achieved much more by now this year. I had all these ideas about what I wanted to do, but as ever, I find myself very much of the moment. Very much in things as they are now.
I'm looking forward to the future, although I wonder if it holds quite the same things as I imagined it would back in 2006. One whole quarter of the way through the year. This of course being the year I migrate from my 20's to my 30's. A part of me is very much looking forward to thirty. I look forward to saying, I'm thirty years old, if someone should ask.

It's a benchmark, a right of passage. Although that's really all a load of rubbish.
I wont be much more different than I am now. Alhough that time is short, I'm very diferent than I was 20 years ago. Quite quite different.

I say that a lot, but it really doesn't seem to mean so much.

I very much want my life to be different from what it is now. It will happen.
Anyway, I'm knackered.

I think I'll post my horoscope for the month ahead before I pop off. I'm curious for the future holds in Aprill.

"Your April Forecast: You can't turn back the clock. Or so they say. But once they told us we would never be able to fly or walk on the moon or use a small battery powered device in our pocket to speak to someone 8,000 miles away. So perhaps one day we really will invent a machine that takes us back in time. Meanwhile, we will have to make do with the next best thing. The ability to rewrite history through our imagination. You used to see things one way. Now you are starting to see them in a very different light. Your new perspective is not just wiser, it is potentially more profitable. Embrace and embellish it this month and you'll prosper as you move on."

Move on, yes. But slowly but surely I think I'll add at the end there.

Ciao. I'm going to bed.

Horoscope from Jonathan Cainer.

"The devil you know is always better than the devil you don't. Assuming, that is, that you like a dull life. If you thrive on adventure, you need to go out and introduce yourself to a few more devils. Right now, you appear to have put yourself on the Devils 'R' Us mailing list. You are being bombarded with invitations from red-faced fellows with horns, tails and tridents. These, though, of course, are all devils you know. The more interesting types disguise themselves in smocks and halos."

"disguise themselves in smocks and halos" Hahahaa... yeah.

One last thing...

My horoscope, from Jonathan Cainer.

It's a nice one.

They say that you can't teach an old dog new tricks. Perhaps they are right but you are not a dog; nor are you old; and nor are you now in the process of learning a trick. You are honing a skill that you have been quietly developing for years. Only now you are using it in an unusual context. You are doing something you do not normally do and you are doing it rather well. Continue to be innovative and inventive. The more you dare to be different, the more your situation will start to change for the better.

Excellent... Onward and upward.

Now rest.

A slight sway.

My working patterns will be a little bit different this weekend.

I will be working from 3pm to 11pm on Saturday. On Sunday I will be working from 7am to 11pm. God knows how I'll get to South London on time for that.
It'll be a night bus I imagine, unless the trains are running at stupid o'clock.

But I do not care about that. I will get to relax a bit tomorrow morning early afternoon-ish. I still gotta travel an hour. An hour that will soon be non existent. Thanks to my move closer to home.

Right at the moment though, I really feel left out. Like I'm missing out on stuff. I find it very difficult to shake that ~urgh~ feeling. I suppose though, some of that will change for me soon. Not a lot of it, but some of it.

I hope so. I feel like I've been waiting around for a frickin long time for some bus out in the pouring rain. With the only thing to see are all the other people going past having a great old time.

But that's probably just the grass being greener on the other side of the fence.

I should be pleased. I've started off this year EXACTLY how I wanted to. It's laying the foundation for a stronger future. That I'm pleased for.

I suppose I just miss the past I'd lived. It was fantastic. I was very lucky to have such a great experience teaching abroad in China. So lucky.

but once you taste that good life, the very good life, money, time, women, friends, fun, excitement and exploration. It's really hard to go back. Really hard.
I want that again. I want adventure, excitement, women, more adventure, money. I want it all back.

I will, but not right now. I've got to deal with this, I can't change it. It's with me for a while.

Time for a horoscope I think... from Jonathan Cainer.

Welcome to Planet Earth. Home of six billion crazy people all of whom are desperately pretending to be sane. Home of politicians who think they know what's wrong with the world and how to change it when, actually, they have not got the first clue. Home of people who preach forgiveness and practise hate. Home of alleged experts who know next to nothing. Home of hypocrites. Yet home, too, of true saints and real, wonderful souls. Relax, this weekend, and embrace what you cannot change.

Nail on the head.

Night, I'm going to watch some south park and forget my life. I want to cast my mind far far away from the boringness of it at this moment in time.

Ciao.

Aghh!

My mate in Cork, the lucky lucky lucky wotsit, has found a proper North Chinese restaurant for Chinese people that cooks the food I ate in China. Guo ba rou, malaga douf, tou do ni, dan qiao fan.

ARGH...

I can't believe it. My morning was going so well. I live in London. There has to be a restaurant that cooks the same food.

There has to be...

~sigh~

Ahh well, Gotta get on with life again. My word what I wouldn't give for some of that old lovely food.

Anyway, we had a a power cut last night. I was happy browsing the old dubleya doubleya doubleya and "Boomf" Suddenly we were all out in the dark. I know the area we were in lost power and that the people across the other side of the train tracks hadn't lost any. Lucky them...

So I sat around in candle light reading my new scientist until I was sleepy and went to bed. As you can tell we got power back, thank heavens.

It reminded me of when I lived in China, there would always be power cuts, so you'd just grab yourself a torch and head on over to someone elses place. It would be the time we'd all get together and have a nice old drink/chat/do stuff thingy.

I miss those days. I miss living in a community. I miss just popping over the way and seeing friends. I miss getting together with the guys and exploring town.

Golly gosh darn it. That's stirred up a wasps nest of memories.

But at least they're good ones. Happy days they were.

Now I'm unsettled and wanting. Flippity.

I need a horoscope to cheer me up. From Jonathan Cainer, the worlds best astrologer.

"If you can keep your head when all around are losing theirs..." You have probably got a very tough neck! There's a lot to worry about at the moment. The potential for disaster is high. Or so it seems. Actually, the precipices are always this close. It's just that usually we look the other way. Just because others are now making a lot of fuss or becoming exceedingly agitated, you do not need to follow them. Assume that everything is going to be absolutely fine... and it will be.

Right, I can manage that. Let this little ripple of old memory fade away and allow myself to feel comfortably assured.

10 days from now, I'll be at work, 10 days from now, I'll be finishing in 3 hours. phew...
10 days from now, I'll be a little bit richer with more time off. Mmm precious time.

Then I can start living my dreams again. I can't wait.

Thursday, back to blerk.

Alpha Centauri is a star, several light years away from here. On one of the planets currently orbiting this distant celestial body, is a small plank of wood. On this plank, there is a tiny speck of dust. Really, it ought to be tidied up. Do you really think that ignorance is bliss? Don't you have a duty to do something about it? If you feel you don't, perhaps you could use the same logic to absent yourself from certain other apparent obligations. You are taking on more responsibility than you need to.

Thank you Jonathan Cainer. One of the finest astrologers their are.

It's also retrograde mercury time, one of three periods a year in which it appears to move backwards through the sky. Although that's just because the Earth is overtaking it round the sun. On some such like that. I don't quite understand the clockwork mechanics of it all.

It's supposed to be the time that communications tend not to go to erm, not too good-ish.

It's also the time of year that I hate the most, I've had some bad retrograde motions in the past. But they were the past. This is very much the present. The past is gone and I really don't have that much interest in my own immediate past to be honest.

what's gone is gone and that's where it should stay. Good.

So I look to the future, whilst a retrogarde motion is happening, that I used to fear to heck. I rarely had good ones.
although I read that they are also times to sit back and reflect, not just trundle along without thought.

So, while I don't have to take on that much responsibility, I'm going to have five. Just to consider my life as it is now. To look at the plan I've set in mind and maybe allow it a little bit more fluidity.

To not rush the day, well, not too much, I don't want to sit at work forever.

Anyway, before I go, I just phoned the doctors, to check about my ear syringing appointment. Guess what? Go on, you'll never guess in a million years.

Their door buzzer was broken.

Now I could have handled that situation differently yesterday. I could have phoned them up. I probably should have in retrospect, although I'm not the smartest of guys on planet Earth.

Oh flippity. I nearly did it again.

I have made another appointment. I also forgot that I change work places and more importantly work TIMES. Which, I did not take into account whilst I was just talking to the lady.

She said "Tuesday 27th at 9:30am." I said "fine".

It then occured to me that I will start work at 6am.

URGH!!!

However, I then also remembered that my day off, thank the divine, that my day off, is Tuesday.

Phew!!!

Someone up there is looking out for me I tell you.

There are times that I really am a dozy idiot.

Anyway, I've got 45 minutes and I need to shower and get ready for blerk.

I can not wait to start earlier and finish earlier. I can not wait! 8 working days to go. Or rather, 8 days and four hours. I'm doing a little sunday work as well. We're having a stock count.

Anyway, enough rambles.

Blerk.

Do I have to go in today? Yes.

Do I really want to go in today? No.

Will I be going in today? Yes.

I'm really not in the mood, I'd rather be doing something else. I'm looking forward to Wednesday, the day that I'm also getting my ear syringed. At long last. So the ringing in my ear should finally go away. It's been there so long now I wonder if it will go away? Although, thankfully, I've long gotten over it being there. As most of the day, when I'm busy, or my attention goes elsewhere, I don't hear it at all.

I've gained something valuable. So it's all good on that count this week.

Also Hot Fuzz is coming out on Wednesday. But I'll be seeing it on Sunday with my mate.

I cannot wait. If you loved Spaced or Shaun of the Dead it'll probably be right up your alley.

So pleased they've done another. Can't wait.

Lets habe, even haVe a horoscope, silly typing fingers, from Jonathan Cainer. My favourite astrologer.

Suppose you really love someone - and they really love you. Suppose you send each other a Valentine's card but they arrive late. Is it the end of the relationship? Is it even a sign that there is something wrong? What if you don't even acknowledge February the 14th at all? Will that change the way you feel about each other? Now, let's turn it around. What difference can the date do if there is no feeling in the heart? In love and in all things this week, ignore protocol and prioritise passion.

Right. I like that. I hate protocols, I hate rules, not the natural rules of life, but those artificial ones thought out by some bloke in a tweed jacket. Meh.

Natural ones are fine, it rains, you get wet, you'll probably be cold. S you need to get warm. Those rules, no trouble with what so ever.

Human made rules. Bleh.

I've gotta work and I wont be sitting back here until gone 10pm tonight and I'll be leaving here at 11:30am

The sooner I'm closer to home the better and after today, that's one less day.

Hmm...

When will you arrive at the best possible moment? When will you have the perfect opportunity? When will you know without doubt, that you are doing the right thing for the right reason in the right way? Never! If you ever do experience such confidence, you should mistrust it. It is probably born of euphoria, not wisdom. Always, there will be an argument in favour and an argument against. Always, there will be an element of risk. Today's risk, though, is one that is worth taking.

I hope so.

Thank you Jonathan Cainer. That's as spot on as can be.
I really have to do what I have to do.

I didn't sleep too well last night. I hope I sleep better this time round. Although I had some weird dreams and a wake you up shocking scary dream, which involved me stepping on the back of a womens shoe.

Can't imagine why that would prove to be scary, but that's the subconscious for you I 'spose.

Right, bed time...

Putting things off.

What's spurned me to write just before I go to bed from a very nice "all day to myself day" is my horoscope from Jonathan Cainer.

I've been thinking this everyday for two months pretty much. I've been whailing about not working closer to home. Namely so I can work earlier and save myself two hours in each day and 80 quid per month.

Here's the horoscope, it was the first thing which sprung to mind. I think I've got to be firstly, fair with myself and secondly, f**k off what I may think anyone else thinks. This is only my life. No one elses.

They say we should save for a rainy day but what if that rainy day never comes? What if there is an endless drought? What if the sun beats down relentlessly upon us? What if we are obliged to spend the whole of the rest of our lives just lazing in the deck-chair of opulence? What use will our investment be then? I am, of course, being facetious. But only slightly so. You are now putting off something that you really ought to bring forward. Waiting won't actually help anyone or anything.

Perhaps I should, rather than wait. It may well be I have to wait a while anyhow and will only have to wait all the longer to be transfered if I put off asking the question.

No harm in it.

Well, I'd better be clear how to ask them and to whom I should speak too.

I doubt I'll ever fully lose my sense of guilt as to what others think and how I feel I should behave according to that. Which is crazy. Because a, I don't know and b, it robs from everyone by presuming. That cannot be doing anyone any favours. Especially me at the moment. Regardless of being right or wrong.

I think I've got a bullet to bite tomorrow.

At least it means I'm doing something about my situation now, rather than letting things carry on as they are.

Right, good night/very early morning.

In the mush.

The mush of life that is. All the good stuff, all the bad stuff and all the inbetween stuff. All the things I understand, all the things I don't and all those things I think I kinda mighta understand.

That's what I've got with me and that's what I'm walking with into the future with, and I'll probably get more of that mush up there as I travel.

Horoscope? Yeah, from Jonthan Cainer.

Where precisely, is this 'box' that we are all supposed to think outside? What is it up there, in the blue sky that we ought to be dwelling on? Business gurus seem to specialise in finding complicated phrases to describe something simple. You now need to be a little more imaginative. You don't need to go on a course or read a book. You simply have to allow yourself to envisage a better, brighter future. Then you have to start taking the kind of action that is likely to help bring this about.

Fabby.

I thought I had been envisaging a brighter future, although just recently I've found my thoughts of a brighter future shrinking and shirking in the light of my current reality. I think I've got to fan those flames again, add some more firewood.

I know the kind of the shape I want things to take.
Here's how it breaks down.

Firstly, my lady from China is coming here, to the uk. I want time off to be with her a while. She's here for a couple of weeks, I'd like to see her. So I will.

Secondly, I must must must and will, get that magical transfer closer to home and get those earlier working hours I seek. But I think it would suit me better to work harder and impress the bosses here some more. They will probably be more inclined if I've 'given it a go' rather than just jump ship straight away. Also I can argue a better case if I try and have tried but things just aren't working out for me, all that mush.

Thirdly, implement my further plans of action.

These are; impro performing, stand up comedy once again, enrol on a Chinese language course, start teaching English privately to paying customers and enjoy more time doing stuff generally. Because my 1 to 9 five days a week, stink.

So, it's nice to know what I want and how I'm going to get it for a change. I've spent great swathes of my life farting about. It'll be even nicer once I've nailed that transfer, but as ever, time it takes, time it needs. Time. Time. Time.

So paitiently and with determination, marching onward I go...

... through the mush...

Much better.

"Hollywood has a lot to answer for. In the course of a two-hour movie it will cram in an entire life story - or relate a drama that lasted years. At an early age we watch such films and they make an impression on us. In our own unreasonable imaginations, we develop an expectation. We start to think that the story of our lives ought to progress at the same pace. We grow disappointed when things take longer. What you need to happen is happening... slowly. Give it more time - and meanwhile, relax."

That's what I needed to hear. Thank you Jonathan Cainer.

I also bumped into my chat a lot friend today on the high road. But it was nice to see her, she reconfirmed a few of my thoughts. We think along similar lines of reasoning and it was good to hear someone else saying them.

Talking of hearing, I'm going to make an appointment with the doctor tomorrow. My right ear, is still giving me trouble. I think I need it syringed and washed out. It's staring to get a little bit painful at times. Nothing outright bad, but it's there. So I'm going to get it checked out.

I'm also extremely tired this evening and I hink it is time for my bed. I didn't go to bed untill about 3am this morning. I need to get my forty winks.

By the way, Pipe Tobacco, I never thought to mention it earlier on. But I really do want to get some pictures of London. I see such wonderful things about town that I want to photograph. So, I will start taking my camera about with me. I always feel I stick out when I do that, but that's probably the reserved Englishman in me.

I'll stick him in the closet though.

Right all, bed time for me.

Lastly, before I go to bed.

My horoscope is my source of comfort during those difficult times. More often than not, Jonathan Cainer's stuff is on the ball.

If you want to find out what really happened in your past, just wait a while. Soon the future will be here. When it arrives, you will be able to see precisely what kind of an impact your story so far has had. Too often, we dismiss valuable opportunities because they do not match our ideas. Don't become unduly anxious about your current situation. It offers you the rare chance to go back to yesterday and alter something that has the potential to bring you a far brighter tomorrow.

I hope so. I'm really putting off asking for this transfer. Although, I still want to do so much more with my year. I want to sink my teeth into 2007 with aplomb. I really want to do something with my time and not just find myself farting away in some pointless job in the pursuit of cash. Which is nice to have. But I hate needing to have it.

Although, I wish I could say that I did dismiss this valuable opportunity. I'm gonna have to ask to be moved somewhere else closer to home with an earlier working day, freeing up my evenings for the things I really want to do.

I feel so bad now, it's going to take a while before this nasty feeling passes.

I'll have to make the changes happen. It's the only way. I'll have to ask for this transfer sooner. Even though it's going to uproot me from some nice people I currently work with. Half the battle in having a decent job.

Struggle struggle, I hope I get to where I want to go...

Day before my day off.

They've asked us to take unpaid days off next week. I might take them up on a Thursday off, that way, I'll only be working 2 days, with days off between them for just over a week. Nice.
I've also hardly touched my cash. I allowed myself to buy a 15 pound watch which I needed for work which is still there, I don't like wearing watches. I was put off it by the couple of years it took me to lose that feeling that I was missing something from my wrist, when I used to wear watches as a kid.

Anyway, days long gone by.

Time for now and my horoscope from Jonathan Cainer and this one has got me thinking...

"'Don't it always seem to go, but you don't know what you've got till it's gone?' Joni Mitchell's words still remain relevant. All too often, we take the good for granted while we waste time fighting battles or chasing rainbows. We know about our own propensity to do this and try not to be so careless. Sometimes, in our effort to avoid making a mistake we go to the other extreme and cling to something we really should get rid of. Is there a habit or a commitment that you have now outgrown?"

Hmm? My first thoughts were of work and having to work so far away. It is a commitment to keep travelling there and I don't want to. Not sure really.

Clinging to something... Hmm, I could be clinging to the fact that I'm comfortable with my newly achieved status quo. I'm not one for rocking boats.

It could be something else. But I really don't know what.

My working in the evenings and my hour commute in both directions is the only thing that I feel I should be getting rid of. Although I'd kind of feel bad about leaving after they've only hired one person of the Christmas staff, me.
Although, that isn't my fault. It's just the way it happened.

I really wish I didn't feel so obliged to be so considerate of every other person in this world apart from me. I've been watching myself lately and everything I do, is out of consideration for someone else. There's hardly any room left for me.

Perhaps it's that that I'm clinging to, that I need to get rid of. I can't be forever on the keep sakes for others.

It would be very hard for me to let go of my sense of obligation to the well being of others.

A good example of my live for others is this.

My mum keeps asking me if "I" want to take my brothers dog for a walk. She says that and asks so because in her mind she thinks I'd like to walk him. That I'd get some kind of enjoyment from it. That it's for me, not for the dogs sake. As, as ever, utterly wrong on her part and presumption. The only reason I'd like to walk the dog is for the dogs sake. Not my own, I have no need of such a thing. So she goes on her own this morning.

I keep asking them that we go together somewhere and let him go for a proper run off the lead. Where he can get some decent exercise. Because as we live now, it isn't right for the dog. But, he's better off here than in a dog pen for a month. Hopefully, they'll take him up to Norfolk for the weekend. Although, I doubt it will happen.

They have a car and can take him about more easily than me. He's a very large dog and would be almost impossible to transport about any other way. He's also too strong for us, my brothers a large guy and it's easy for him to control the dog. It isn't good to be dragged around by a dog that's still just a very large puppy. He's 18 months at present.

Anyway, totally off my point.
I do for others not for me, perhaps I should start doing stuff for me. It might seem selfish, but I've always been selfish on myself, not for others.

Yeah, perhaps it's that that my horoscope is pointing at.

Boxing day.

I don't want to box, I can't quite remember why it's called boxing day either...

Golly, I want a holiday. Either that, or I'm too used to my easy lifestyle. I need to be rich. I'll have to start playing the lottery again.

God, I'd love to be rich. I need an easier lifestyle. Or, should I say a lifestyle more accommodating to the wants of my personal freedoms.

Yeah, it isn't going to be happening any time soon though. I'll have to work at this one for a while I think.

Work hard for an easy life, work easy for a hard life. I wish it were the other way round.

I've got to visit my friend, I'm not feeling like going to be honest. I want to lounge in the house and relax, I'm not in the mood to listen to her talk on and on today.

Anyway, let me finish up with a horoscope from my favourite astrologer.

"I existed from all eternity and, behold, I am here; and I shall exist till the end of time, for my being has no end." The poet who wrote these words was no great saint, yet he was telling the truth about himself. You can read the same sentence out loud and trust that it is every bit as appropriate coming from your mouth. Your physical being is not what's under discussion here. It is the spark of life within you that is endless. That's your true identity. Trust as much and make wise choices today.

Hmm, there's always something else a little deeper going on regardless of what lies on the top.