A slight sway.

My working patterns will be a little bit different this weekend.

I will be working from 3pm to 11pm on Saturday. On Sunday I will be working from 7am to 11pm. God knows how I'll get to South London on time for that.
It'll be a night bus I imagine, unless the trains are running at stupid o'clock.

But I do not care about that. I will get to relax a bit tomorrow morning early afternoon-ish. I still gotta travel an hour. An hour that will soon be non existent. Thanks to my move closer to home.

Right at the moment though, I really feel left out. Like I'm missing out on stuff. I find it very difficult to shake that ~urgh~ feeling. I suppose though, some of that will change for me soon. Not a lot of it, but some of it.

I hope so. I feel like I've been waiting around for a frickin long time for some bus out in the pouring rain. With the only thing to see are all the other people going past having a great old time.

But that's probably just the grass being greener on the other side of the fence.

I should be pleased. I've started off this year EXACTLY how I wanted to. It's laying the foundation for a stronger future. That I'm pleased for.

I suppose I just miss the past I'd lived. It was fantastic. I was very lucky to have such a great experience teaching abroad in China. So lucky.

but once you taste that good life, the very good life, money, time, women, friends, fun, excitement and exploration. It's really hard to go back. Really hard.
I want that again. I want adventure, excitement, women, more adventure, money. I want it all back.

I will, but not right now. I've got to deal with this, I can't change it. It's with me for a while.

Time for a horoscope I think... from Jonathan Cainer.

Welcome to Planet Earth. Home of six billion crazy people all of whom are desperately pretending to be sane. Home of politicians who think they know what's wrong with the world and how to change it when, actually, they have not got the first clue. Home of people who preach forgiveness and practise hate. Home of alleged experts who know next to nothing. Home of hypocrites. Yet home, too, of true saints and real, wonderful souls. Relax, this weekend, and embrace what you cannot change.

Nail on the head.

Night, I'm going to watch some south park and forget my life. I want to cast my mind far far away from the boringness of it at this moment in time.

Ciao.

Aghh!

My mate in Cork, the lucky lucky lucky wotsit, has found a proper North Chinese restaurant for Chinese people that cooks the food I ate in China. Guo ba rou, malaga douf, tou do ni, dan qiao fan.

ARGH...

I can't believe it. My morning was going so well. I live in London. There has to be a restaurant that cooks the same food.

There has to be...

~sigh~

Ahh well, Gotta get on with life again. My word what I wouldn't give for some of that old lovely food.

Anyway, we had a a power cut last night. I was happy browsing the old dubleya doubleya doubleya and "Boomf" Suddenly we were all out in the dark. I know the area we were in lost power and that the people across the other side of the train tracks hadn't lost any. Lucky them...

So I sat around in candle light reading my new scientist until I was sleepy and went to bed. As you can tell we got power back, thank heavens.

It reminded me of when I lived in China, there would always be power cuts, so you'd just grab yourself a torch and head on over to someone elses place. It would be the time we'd all get together and have a nice old drink/chat/do stuff thingy.

I miss those days. I miss living in a community. I miss just popping over the way and seeing friends. I miss getting together with the guys and exploring town.

Golly gosh darn it. That's stirred up a wasps nest of memories.

But at least they're good ones. Happy days they were.

Now I'm unsettled and wanting. Flippity.

I need a horoscope to cheer me up. From Jonathan Cainer, the worlds best astrologer.

"If you can keep your head when all around are losing theirs..." You have probably got a very tough neck! There's a lot to worry about at the moment. The potential for disaster is high. Or so it seems. Actually, the precipices are always this close. It's just that usually we look the other way. Just because others are now making a lot of fuss or becoming exceedingly agitated, you do not need to follow them. Assume that everything is going to be absolutely fine... and it will be.

Right, I can manage that. Let this little ripple of old memory fade away and allow myself to feel comfortably assured.

10 days from now, I'll be at work, 10 days from now, I'll be finishing in 3 hours. phew...
10 days from now, I'll be a little bit richer with more time off. Mmm precious time.

Then I can start living my dreams again. I can't wait.

My shirts on inside out.

I was sat on the train, miles away in my own thoughts, as you do. I'm being typically English, not staring at anyone, just watching out the window to who knows where.

A rather posh sounding man in some typically stereotypical country garb, leans over and puts his face not inches from mine.

"Who tailored your jacket?" He spoke.

I sat there, registered that I'd been spoken to, pulled my gaze back to my current surroundings and looked back at him. He was half smiling.

"I bought it in Italy." I got round to replying.

"Oh", he replied quite surprised. "Did you buy it in Milan?"

I sat back in my chair and pulled my gaze away to the left, I had to think about it. "No, I bought it just outside of Busto Arsizio, I can't recall the name."

He looked it over and I began to feel quite the sore thumb.

"It's very well cut" He noted, "Round the collar."

"I got it on sale for ten Euros" I added.

Which was around the point the conversation trailed off. We reached the next stop and as he got off I gave him a little nod of recognition goodbye.

That would have to be the umpteenth time I've been complimented on my jacket now. Shame summer is coming, I wont be able to wear it much longer.

Yeah, as the title says, I was in so much of a hurry to leave work before they did the cash snatch, I put my shirt on inside out.

Which is as it is right now. Untill I go to bed I think too.

Ciao a tutti.

Thursday, back to blerk.

Alpha Centauri is a star, several light years away from here. On one of the planets currently orbiting this distant celestial body, is a small plank of wood. On this plank, there is a tiny speck of dust. Really, it ought to be tidied up. Do you really think that ignorance is bliss? Don't you have a duty to do something about it? If you feel you don't, perhaps you could use the same logic to absent yourself from certain other apparent obligations. You are taking on more responsibility than you need to.

Thank you Jonathan Cainer. One of the finest astrologers their are.

It's also retrograde mercury time, one of three periods a year in which it appears to move backwards through the sky. Although that's just because the Earth is overtaking it round the sun. On some such like that. I don't quite understand the clockwork mechanics of it all.

It's supposed to be the time that communications tend not to go to erm, not too good-ish.

It's also the time of year that I hate the most, I've had some bad retrograde motions in the past. But they were the past. This is very much the present. The past is gone and I really don't have that much interest in my own immediate past to be honest.

what's gone is gone and that's where it should stay. Good.

So I look to the future, whilst a retrogarde motion is happening, that I used to fear to heck. I rarely had good ones.
although I read that they are also times to sit back and reflect, not just trundle along without thought.

So, while I don't have to take on that much responsibility, I'm going to have five. Just to consider my life as it is now. To look at the plan I've set in mind and maybe allow it a little bit more fluidity.

To not rush the day, well, not too much, I don't want to sit at work forever.

Anyway, before I go, I just phoned the doctors, to check about my ear syringing appointment. Guess what? Go on, you'll never guess in a million years.

Their door buzzer was broken.

Now I could have handled that situation differently yesterday. I could have phoned them up. I probably should have in retrospect, although I'm not the smartest of guys on planet Earth.

Oh flippity. I nearly did it again.

I have made another appointment. I also forgot that I change work places and more importantly work TIMES. Which, I did not take into account whilst I was just talking to the lady.

She said "Tuesday 27th at 9:30am." I said "fine".

It then occured to me that I will start work at 6am.

URGH!!!

However, I then also remembered that my day off, thank the divine, that my day off, is Tuesday.

Phew!!!

Someone up there is looking out for me I tell you.

There are times that I really am a dozy idiot.

Anyway, I've got 45 minutes and I need to shower and get ready for blerk.

I can not wait to start earlier and finish earlier. I can not wait! 8 working days to go. Or rather, 8 days and four hours. I'm doing a little sunday work as well. We're having a stock count.

Anyway, enough rambles.

Great news.

At least for fans of Indiana Jones and who isn't?

Their making a new movie! Production starts June 2007!

Wohoo!!!

And on an entirely unrelated note, I've found a free registry cleaner. I needed one to keep this machine ticking over.

I've scanned the machine and it's fixed lots of stuff and gotten rid of all those old worthless file extensions and stuff.

It's good to have a spring clean, this has also been a heavy internet use day.

Something nice.

I wasn't the only little red robin in the house today.

I'd finished doing stuff on my computer and decided to go downstairs and fix myself some breakfast. I walked toward the kitchen door which had been shut, as I opened it I saw a flit of brown feathers in front of me. My mind registered that it appeared to be within the same room as me. Then I noted a bird just outside the back door. Which I concluded was the bird I just saw flit away.

I stood in the doorway to the kitchen and just watched it outside, then out the corner of my eye I saw movement, as I turned my head I noted a little red robin stood on the inside of my kitchen window!

!

He eye'd me with one eye, cautiously wondering if I posed some kind of threat I imagine. I didn't want to startle him too much, so without much ado, I walked to the back door and opened it. The wee chap had flown and sat on top of the microwave and as he saw me back out of the room he flew and landed on the chair, by the table just in front of me. I'd closed the door and the wee fellow eye'd me once more through the gap and then flew outside.

It was a pleasent encounter for me I have to say. Although, the Robin probably felt a bit intimidated. I would have taken a picture but that would have meant coming upstairs and leaving the poor guy stuck in the kitchen. Which didn't seem that ethical to me.

Bless him.

I hope he comes back to the garden again...

Would you Adam and Eve it.

I looked at the calender on my mobile phone, the one I use for all the things I have to remember. I'd schedueled in my appointment with the nurse not two minutes after I'd booked it with the receptionist.

I am certain that the time I have is the time she gave.

I got my things together, put on my coat, grabbed my door keys and headed out into the bleak dull wet day. It took me about 15 minutes to walk to the doctors. I went up the steps and pressed the buzzer.

Nothing, not a sound.

Hmm...

I pressed it again and then looked at the front door. I saw a notice.

Monday : Open 9am to 1pm closed open at 3pm till 7pm

Tuesday : Open 9am to 1pm closed open at 3pm till 7pm

Wednesday: CLOSED open at 5pm till 7pm

WHAT?!?!

Hang on a minute...

WHAT!?!?!

I laughed to myself on the step and the old man walking by looked at me to take in this strange bloke laughing to himself.

WHAT!?!?!

Closed? But I was told to come at this time, so I am here. Unless I'm sadly mistaken and I genuinely made a mistake. What!?!?!?

Closed, how? Why? Why am I being cursed with one ringing ear? Is there a reason? Is there a purpose to it that I am unaware. Is it meant to be? Has God garned me for some special thing that only a man with one ringing ear can possibly do anything about?

Why?

Why?

I just want the ringing to stop. Please. Please...

Rain.

It is buckets out there. Loads of the wet stuff.

I'm getting my ear syringed today. Will it finally be the end to the ringing in my ears? I hope so. I'm also aware that mercury is starting its retrograde phase again. Very little goes well for me when it's retrograde. Although, that's a very negative way to look at it. I should probably dig around for that silver lining, or should that be look up for a silver lining. As clouds are up there and not underground...

Hmm...

It's also very hard to give an impartial view when you hold an emotional investment in something. Today would be valentines day. What am I doing on valentines day? Not much. Sitting in away from the rain. With soon to have a clear ear, he hopes. In about 50 minutes in fact. Can't wait...

Anyway, my heart is all over the plave this morn and my head is all up the clappers. So I'm twoddling off. I look forward to my days off, but I really have nothing in my life at the moment to engage me.

I'm left feeling lackluster and gusted.

Tomorrow will be different, whatever happens...

~sigh~

I'm still in bed as I write this, with my right hand. My left is propping up my head. Which is also the place where, just moments ago, I remembered I have to get my holiday form signed. The holiday will be the month I start working in the other shop. They know about my holiday time though, so it shouldn't cause any trouble.

There's another snake I have to tackle as well. I'm not, technically a member of permanent staff, I would have been made permanent around April. I do not know what that means for me, as I'm being moved now or for the people receiving me.

So I need to find out.

Does this also mean that if I were to not impress them, they'd simply say we do not want you and let me go. Although I don't think that will happen.

I should have sorted this out ages ago, which is mad all but impossible due to the fact that you get in and are working straight away. Trying to find a moment to chat to anyone is all but impossible.

But I've got to and having a moan wont solve the trouble. At least the guy I want to talk is a very nice guy. Thank heavens, it should take the sting out of it. Also they do bend over backwards for me over there. Bless 'em.

So, not impossible, I've just got to grab a moment and have the chat.

Looking foward to today. Because tomorrow is off. Yay! I'm going to love waking up on my days off in a couple of weeks. No morning alarm.

Anyway... back to my few hours off before work. Meh...

Blerk.

Do I have to go in today? Yes.

Do I really want to go in today? No.

Will I be going in today? Yes.

I'm really not in the mood, I'd rather be doing something else. I'm looking forward to Wednesday, the day that I'm also getting my ear syringed. At long last. So the ringing in my ear should finally go away. It's been there so long now I wonder if it will go away? Although, thankfully, I've long gotten over it being there. As most of the day, when I'm busy, or my attention goes elsewhere, I don't hear it at all.

I've gained something valuable. So it's all good on that count this week.

Also Hot Fuzz is coming out on Wednesday. But I'll be seeing it on Sunday with my mate.

I cannot wait. If you loved Spaced or Shaun of the Dead it'll probably be right up your alley.

So pleased they've done another. Can't wait.

Lets habe, even haVe a horoscope, silly typing fingers, from Jonathan Cainer. My favourite astrologer.

Suppose you really love someone - and they really love you. Suppose you send each other a Valentine's card but they arrive late. Is it the end of the relationship? Is it even a sign that there is something wrong? What if you don't even acknowledge February the 14th at all? Will that change the way you feel about each other? Now, let's turn it around. What difference can the date do if there is no feeling in the heart? In love and in all things this week, ignore protocol and prioritise passion.

Right. I like that. I hate protocols, I hate rules, not the natural rules of life, but those artificial ones thought out by some bloke in a tweed jacket. Meh.

Natural ones are fine, it rains, you get wet, you'll probably be cold. S you need to get warm. Those rules, no trouble with what so ever.

Human made rules. Bleh.

I've gotta work and I wont be sitting back here until gone 10pm tonight and I'll be leaving here at 11:30am

The sooner I'm closer to home the better and after today, that's one less day.

101, again.

I had written something before this but saved it as a draft. So I suppose this is really the 102nd post on this blog.

This is about the 10628th day of my life. If I've worked that out properly. My clock says 00:00 which means it's midnight now and I should probably be getting to bed soon.
As I'm trying to get my body clock shifted for an earlier start to the day. I'll need to be out of bed by 5:15am in a couple of weeks. Not too bad. I'll apprecaite the weekend lay-ins again though.

I'll vastly appreciate the small sacrifice for having an earlier finish to the day.

Soon, very soon, I'll be able to get the life and plans I've made, under way. I can't wait.
I'm thankful for it as well. Very thankful. I got exactly what I wanted. Which is rare in my books. Probably because I had a plan? I'm not sure.
I've always said we rarely, if ever, get what we want and always what we need.

So it's odd. But then, today is today and what came before has ended. The roads can't be as they were, the path is different and the time is different.
Which is all good.

Tomorrow more work. Starting at 1pm. I cannot wait till I look at my watch in a couple of weeks and think as I'm walking home, that I'd have been at work for only an hour a day before. Brilliant.

I'll have to make new acquaintances and friends, but such is life. I'll also have to impress new people and they have high expectations of me as the others have said how good I am.

Bum. I hate that. "He's brilliant" They say. Yeah, now I've got to live up to what they imagine is brilliant and strive, strive, strive, again...

~sigh~

Hopefully their easy to impress, we all have our own ideas of what good is. Don't we.

But, deep down I feel good about it all. Despite the ever present shady bits.You only get shade because of the light. So it's all good.

I'm looking forward to getting underway again.

Right, bed time. I need to sleep slightly earlier than I am now, I'll be getting up at the crack of dawn soon...

Zzz Zzz Zzz...