My brothers dog.

Wuf!

Slowly slowly easy monkey.

I am pretty hairy and could be described as monkey like. I am trying to take it easier and to work at my life without having some sort of idea as to how it is supposed to happen concerning future plans and more importantly, when it is supposed to happen.

Life works that for itself.

I've also realised that I don't have to ask the big wigs for a transfer, I can probably check it out via the website. So come another morning, when I'm conscious sooner, I'll do that.
I've reached the point now where I don't go to sleep until about 2 to 3 am and I don't wake until 9:30am. I like my sleepy time, I also like my morning time. I enjoy late nights, but only if the stars are out and I'm lying out in the middle of nowhere in a tent.

I haven't seen that comet that's passing by us yet. Living in London, such things are hard to see, unless you life at the top of some really high building with panoramic views.

So I content myself with pictures I find on the Internet.

I hate waking up late, I hate going to bed late and I really hate working late. Just to chuck that in there. I'm definitely an early bird.

I've got 30 minutes to get showered, brush teeth, be dressed and down the road to make it on time for work.

Sigh... I wish I was a rich man. I'd rather live with the rich mans troubles than any others any day of the week.

Much better.

"Hollywood has a lot to answer for. In the course of a two-hour movie it will cram in an entire life story - or relate a drama that lasted years. At an early age we watch such films and they make an impression on us. In our own unreasonable imaginations, we develop an expectation. We start to think that the story of our lives ought to progress at the same pace. We grow disappointed when things take longer. What you need to happen is happening... slowly. Give it more time - and meanwhile, relax."

That's what I needed to hear. Thank you Jonathan Cainer.

I also bumped into my chat a lot friend today on the high road. But it was nice to see her, she reconfirmed a few of my thoughts. We think along similar lines of reasoning and it was good to hear someone else saying them.

Talking of hearing, I'm going to make an appointment with the doctor tomorrow. My right ear, is still giving me trouble. I think I need it syringed and washed out. It's staring to get a little bit painful at times. Nothing outright bad, but it's there. So I'm going to get it checked out.

I'm also extremely tired this evening and I hink it is time for my bed. I didn't go to bed untill about 3am this morning. I need to get my forty winks.

By the way, Pipe Tobacco, I never thought to mention it earlier on. But I really do want to get some pictures of London. I see such wonderful things about town that I want to photograph. So, I will start taking my camera about with me. I always feel I stick out when I do that, but that's probably the reserved Englishman in me.

I'll stick him in the closet though.

Right all, bed time for me.

Cheers Andrew.

I'm over that initial shock now, I've had time to take it all in. The only thing to do is to take practical steps toward my goal. I'll have to make a few sacrifices, like leaving a nice place to work. Especially as I get on with all the people there and you don't always get to enjoy such surroundings.

I just hope that chance and circumstance fly by my side on this one though. If not, a job near home may not be attainable.

But do it I must, otherwise I'll only have to enjoy nice people. Not my dreams.

So, that's my future and that's what I need and want to do. No two ways about it.
I wonder how it will all pan out. It's interesting isn't it.

A choice is made, a decision has been reached and you decide to do something. You have no idea what's going to happen. The only known thing is the destination in your mind that you want to reach. Aside from that, nothing else is known.

It's there that all those nice surprises wait. You could look at it from a more negative perspective, the old yin and yang, but I prefer the glass half full. It keeps me going.

I look forward to being old and looking back on my life and having that retrospective outlook. Seeing all that came before and how it led to what I will have.

2007 is still very very young, and I'm sure I will have many opportunities once this minor catch has been sorted out.

It's all good.

Lastly, before I go to bed.

My horoscope is my source of comfort during those difficult times. More often than not, Jonathan Cainer's stuff is on the ball.

If you want to find out what really happened in your past, just wait a while. Soon the future will be here. When it arrives, you will be able to see precisely what kind of an impact your story so far has had. Too often, we dismiss valuable opportunities because they do not match our ideas. Don't become unduly anxious about your current situation. It offers you the rare chance to go back to yesterday and alter something that has the potential to bring you a far brighter tomorrow.

I hope so. I'm really putting off asking for this transfer. Although, I still want to do so much more with my year. I want to sink my teeth into 2007 with aplomb. I really want to do something with my time and not just find myself farting away in some pointless job in the pursuit of cash. Which is nice to have. But I hate needing to have it.

Although, I wish I could say that I did dismiss this valuable opportunity. I'm gonna have to ask to be moved somewhere else closer to home with an earlier working day, freeing up my evenings for the things I really want to do.

I feel so bad now, it's going to take a while before this nasty feeling passes.

I'll have to make the changes happen. It's the only way. I'll have to ask for this transfer sooner. Even though it's going to uproot me from some nice people I currently work with. Half the battle in having a decent job.

Struggle struggle, I hope I get to where I want to go...

Thank you Pipe Tobacco.

I have sent your gmail invite. I hope it gets to you.
I still have my camera and I should be getting some new pictures up here soon. Especially of my brothers dog, who is now staying with us for a while.

Anyway, back to my post at hand.

NUTS!

I really really wish I had not had looked at my emails today. I found out that the impro group I was a part of will be doing several shows over the coming months. The first of which I probably will not be able to take part in. The second of which, I probably wont be able to take part in either.

This exact same thing happened before. I participated in all the group get togethers, did all the practice and workshops, it came to an actual performance in front of an audience and something got in the flippin way. Same as now.

I feel URGH. Tere are no words. Just, URGGGHHH! Damn it. Flip flippity.

It must be fate standing in the way. Someone up there has other plans I'm sure. I really wanted to be a part of this, but it doesn't look like it will be happening for me now this year either.

I'm so angry and just plain bomed out. I haven't been with the group now for a couple of months, so I'm out of practice and out of the loop. Hopefully, I'll get my day off thursday next week, I'll be able to pop in for a visit and talk to the man in charge to see what's happening.

Oh POO!

God, I really hate the way things work out sometimes.

Work has to come first, I can't just up end this job for that either. Even asking for a transfer closer to home probably wont happen in time. It would be required to have a vacancy where I want to work.

Man. Why oh why did I open that box. Now I've got a day off tomorrow to do flip all, with myself.

This is a poopy start to the new year. Darn. Another reason I hate work. It gets in the way of other things.

Day before my day off.

They've asked us to take unpaid days off next week. I might take them up on a Thursday off, that way, I'll only be working 2 days, with days off between them for just over a week. Nice.
I've also hardly touched my cash. I allowed myself to buy a 15 pound watch which I needed for work which is still there, I don't like wearing watches. I was put off it by the couple of years it took me to lose that feeling that I was missing something from my wrist, when I used to wear watches as a kid.

Anyway, days long gone by.

Time for now and my horoscope from Jonathan Cainer and this one has got me thinking...

"'Don't it always seem to go, but you don't know what you've got till it's gone?' Joni Mitchell's words still remain relevant. All too often, we take the good for granted while we waste time fighting battles or chasing rainbows. We know about our own propensity to do this and try not to be so careless. Sometimes, in our effort to avoid making a mistake we go to the other extreme and cling to something we really should get rid of. Is there a habit or a commitment that you have now outgrown?"

Hmm? My first thoughts were of work and having to work so far away. It is a commitment to keep travelling there and I don't want to. Not sure really.

Clinging to something... Hmm, I could be clinging to the fact that I'm comfortable with my newly achieved status quo. I'm not one for rocking boats.

It could be something else. But I really don't know what.

My working in the evenings and my hour commute in both directions is the only thing that I feel I should be getting rid of. Although I'd kind of feel bad about leaving after they've only hired one person of the Christmas staff, me.
Although, that isn't my fault. It's just the way it happened.

I really wish I didn't feel so obliged to be so considerate of every other person in this world apart from me. I've been watching myself lately and everything I do, is out of consideration for someone else. There's hardly any room left for me.

Perhaps it's that that I'm clinging to, that I need to get rid of. I can't be forever on the keep sakes for others.

It would be very hard for me to let go of my sense of obligation to the well being of others.

A good example of my live for others is this.

My mum keeps asking me if "I" want to take my brothers dog for a walk. She says that and asks so because in her mind she thinks I'd like to walk him. That I'd get some kind of enjoyment from it. That it's for me, not for the dogs sake. As, as ever, utterly wrong on her part and presumption. The only reason I'd like to walk the dog is for the dogs sake. Not my own, I have no need of such a thing. So she goes on her own this morning.

I keep asking them that we go together somewhere and let him go for a proper run off the lead. Where he can get some decent exercise. Because as we live now, it isn't right for the dog. But, he's better off here than in a dog pen for a month. Hopefully, they'll take him up to Norfolk for the weekend. Although, I doubt it will happen.

They have a car and can take him about more easily than me. He's a very large dog and would be almost impossible to transport about any other way. He's also too strong for us, my brothers a large guy and it's easy for him to control the dog. It isn't good to be dragged around by a dog that's still just a very large puppy. He's 18 months at present.

Anyway, totally off my point.
I do for others not for me, perhaps I should start doing stuff for me. It might seem selfish, but I've always been selfish on myself, not for others.

Yeah, perhaps it's that that my horoscope is pointing at.

Tired, sleepy.

Go bed, write more tomorrow morning. Snore, snooze.

Hmm...

http://vuln.sg/acerlunchapp-en.html

I saw this via slashdot and as I own an Acer laptop, I was curious.
An active x control distributed by default on Acer laptops.

From the website.

" Checking the interface of the control reveals it has a method named "Run()" as shown below. The method supports parameters "Drive", "FileName", and "CmdLine". Isn't it strange for a control that's marked "safe for scripting" to allow a method that is suggestive of possible abuse?"

Also...

"It isn't long before I'm using this control from a webpage to execute arbitrary commands on my notebook when the page is loaded in IE6. And it's too simple..."

I had a look on my own laptop and sure enough, there it is. I will need to look into this a little more I feel and perhaps, in the future, steer myself away from Acer if need be.

The dog, then some stuff about work.

We're looking after my brothers dog again. He'll be here while my brother is in the states working. It's nice to have a dog back. I will be playing with him over many days. I also nearly forgot how big he is.

It's also my day off today, they'd asked me if I wanted to work, making up the day that I had off. I said no.

I also like the way, we don't actually get an official day off. New years day, the bank holiday, was our enforced day off. My usual Wednesday off was now in fact my work day. Although, I was allowed it off, I wasn't going to be paid for it.

How I love businesses.

"If you work for us you will get lots of good and preferential treatment, like a discount at our shops. Good retirement plan, health care. However, you must give up any life you live for the company. Because we really don't care about your life, but provided you work for us and do nothing else, everything will go smoothly. We are your life now."

That's what I feel I get told every day.

I hate work. I really do.

However, I must do it and do it well this year. I cannot afford to lose the job. I need money, I like being home. This is neccesary to make roads to the future.

My toll for the journey somewhere nicer. I hope so.

My life lacks that fun element. It is slowly being taken over by the disease called work. I see the people there and they really do nothing else in their lives. That's it, day in day out. It's mine now as well.

So, my plan of action to improve my lot.

Work where I am for a couple more months. Ask for a transfer to a shop closer to home and hopefully with hours for the morning. Then my evenings will be free.
I can get back into acting and performing once more and give my life a little injection of fun and expansion. Other than the dulldrums of working life.
Also, with more time off in the afternoons I can start buying and aquiring the materials I need to start teaching English. So I can work for myself and hopefully and become self sufficient and not rely on nasty work.
Also, with an early finish, I have more time to do whatever I want to do with the rest of the day. Going out, seeing friends, socialising. Pretty much all of which I cannot do now because I spend ten hours of my day for work. Those 2 extra hours are travelling time.

When all that happens. I'll be much much happier. When it happens.

Till then, I'm their b***h.

~sigh~