A horrible nasty thing between me and work. A nasty bogee coloured thing it is.
Twice yesterday it caused me great upset. Yesterday morning on my happy chirpy way into work the district line suddenly had a change of heart, the train wasn't going to go to Wimbledon, the end of the line. No, it was going to terminate the stop before the one I usually get off. So I had to run. Run like the wind, with freezing fog. Grumble.
Next, NEXT, on the way home. The district line suddenly decides to have complete signal failure at one of the stops between me and earls court. So it took, just over one whole hour to travel what should have been 12 to 15 minutes normally. I left work at 10pm and got home at 12 midnight.
I hate. I repeat, HATE the stinking district line. I hope it goes to hell, right after I finish needing it of course.
Please whatever god runs the underground, please please please, can you make it so I get to work on time pretty much everytime from now on and home again safe and sound.
Well, according to the tfl website all is well down that way at the moment. Please remain so.
Friday 22 December 2006
Wednesday 20 December 2006
Tuesday 19 December 2006
2 weeks.
I think it's true for many things, that in order to get used to a new life, or a new change in life, will take two weeks.
I'm very used to work now, I don't even think about the time, or how dull the work itself is.
Thankfully, all the people I work with are the decent sort. I get to enjoy myself during the moments I can.
Whilst I'm doing well my mind wanders onto the old subject of what hours and times would I like to do if they offered me continuing work beyond the contract I currently hold (Which I hope they do). I wonder about going into work for myself, but I know, deep down, that sometime, somewhere I'm going to have to have something more stable and supportive under wing. My current hippy-ish lifestyle wont cut it forever. I need to be more productive and as teaching English is my strength at the moment, it'll have to be that.
Obviously, you do these things step by step, bit by bit. I have one person I know who would like lessons, an old friend of mine. Thank heavens I live in London. I have a wealth of possible students all over the place. I needn't look too hard.
I kind of think the life I've lived lends itself nicely to a life I might live. I have nice dreams about that. I couldn't say how long it'll take, if I'll even be able to get anything off the ground. But I'll find that all out as and when I start this.
I'm looking forward to being my own boss one day. No one to answer to but me.
wonderful.
I've got a day off tomorrow as well. Excellent. I wont be laying in though, I'm going to go shopping with my mum and sister-in-law. Mmm, day off... loungey.
I've also got to buy prezzies and stuff on very little cash. I could dump it on credit card, but I don't like doing that. I'm on financially thin turf. So best to keep it safe and be able to do something nice later on, rather than limp around on half empty all the time.
I think time for bed. Me sleepy...
I'm very used to work now, I don't even think about the time, or how dull the work itself is.
Thankfully, all the people I work with are the decent sort. I get to enjoy myself during the moments I can.
Whilst I'm doing well my mind wanders onto the old subject of what hours and times would I like to do if they offered me continuing work beyond the contract I currently hold (Which I hope they do). I wonder about going into work for myself, but I know, deep down, that sometime, somewhere I'm going to have to have something more stable and supportive under wing. My current hippy-ish lifestyle wont cut it forever. I need to be more productive and as teaching English is my strength at the moment, it'll have to be that.
Obviously, you do these things step by step, bit by bit. I have one person I know who would like lessons, an old friend of mine. Thank heavens I live in London. I have a wealth of possible students all over the place. I needn't look too hard.
I kind of think the life I've lived lends itself nicely to a life I might live. I have nice dreams about that. I couldn't say how long it'll take, if I'll even be able to get anything off the ground. But I'll find that all out as and when I start this.
I'm looking forward to being my own boss one day. No one to answer to but me.
wonderful.
I've got a day off tomorrow as well. Excellent. I wont be laying in though, I'm going to go shopping with my mum and sister-in-law. Mmm, day off... loungey.
I've also got to buy prezzies and stuff on very little cash. I could dump it on credit card, but I don't like doing that. I'm on financially thin turf. So best to keep it safe and be able to do something nice later on, rather than limp around on half empty all the time.
I think time for bed. Me sleepy...
Monday 18 December 2006
A good day.
I had a good day. Everything more or less fell into place today. So I'm happy.
I spend most of my time thinking about this life I live. The if's and but's, the could have been's and the might be's. I like to think that things have a tendency to work out, that little plans here or there just happen, because they're meant to. This is probably incredibly fanciful thinking. In fact, most likely it is just that.
I have little plans here or there which bring about interesting turns of events. But not much else.
What is the measure of a grand life? A decent one, a warm true heart felt one. Or something like that, my words fail this expression.
That life you think you should be living, that ideal almost.
I don't feel I'm doing that right now. I'm living a life of necessity, I'm only doing what I have to at the moment for the moment. I really only hope that that leads more to what I want to be doing and open a few more doors for me.
There are some things I'm missing from my life that I would really appreciate having now or soon. Getting them however, is an uncertainty. Such is many things, but I suppose we work to overcome them.
Although, from the position that I currently stand, I like the view that stretches out in front of me. I've learned from the last two years or so, that more is possible now should I want. Especially in terms of travel and stuff.
We'll see. I'm tired now, it's quarter past twelve and I want to lay in bed and watch some DVDs.
Night night.
I spend most of my time thinking about this life I live. The if's and but's, the could have been's and the might be's. I like to think that things have a tendency to work out, that little plans here or there just happen, because they're meant to. This is probably incredibly fanciful thinking. In fact, most likely it is just that.
I have little plans here or there which bring about interesting turns of events. But not much else.
What is the measure of a grand life? A decent one, a warm true heart felt one. Or something like that, my words fail this expression.
That life you think you should be living, that ideal almost.
I don't feel I'm doing that right now. I'm living a life of necessity, I'm only doing what I have to at the moment for the moment. I really only hope that that leads more to what I want to be doing and open a few more doors for me.
There are some things I'm missing from my life that I would really appreciate having now or soon. Getting them however, is an uncertainty. Such is many things, but I suppose we work to overcome them.
Although, from the position that I currently stand, I like the view that stretches out in front of me. I've learned from the last two years or so, that more is possible now should I want. Especially in terms of travel and stuff.
We'll see. I'm tired now, it's quarter past twelve and I want to lay in bed and watch some DVDs.
Night night.
I was tired.
I woke at 10am this morning. I had a few dreams, just the usual travel / unusal animal combo.
My other little learning of today, in my first 34 minutes of it, is that I really really really must try as hard as I can to work for myself teaching English.
I cannot, CANNOT, bear working this way for a long time. It's killing me slowly softly. Take me back to the nice 2 to 4 hour days, with work spaced nicely during the week. Teaching is so much better.
This is re-newing that initial wish to go it for myself.
Anything wil be better than my current work. Blurgh!
So, I need to start teaching again.
My own set of books, all levels, beginner to advance. My own materials, tonnes of stuff. Simply loads of things, for all levels. Lessons plans. realia, all that stuff, even a few klines and exponents.
London isn't supporting my wish in one way, i.e looking for work, but it may support my wish to go it for myself.
London town, it's my home, I want to know it better, I still wnat to be able to do all that stuff, go places, do things, see London. I feel sure I could mix teaching and going out and doing stuff in London into one thing. Which is something no school here does, well, no, they do. But I want to do it another more in depth way.
Anyway, I need a few material things before I can even do any of this.
A computer = Check.
A printer of my own = erm, not a check, got to buy one.
Books = yep, need to buy them.
Materials = erm, need those too.
Money to buy them with = In process through very dull horrible work that takes away all my day.
So, as you can see, my thrive is alive once more. I want to work independently from others, for myself, by myself.
Because, that's going to give me so much freedom and happiness if I can pull it all off.
I think I should make all this my new years resolution. It's nearly Christmas, which means one thing for me.
TWO DAYS OFF WORK! YAY!
My other little learning of today, in my first 34 minutes of it, is that I really really really must try as hard as I can to work for myself teaching English.
I cannot, CANNOT, bear working this way for a long time. It's killing me slowly softly. Take me back to the nice 2 to 4 hour days, with work spaced nicely during the week. Teaching is so much better.
This is re-newing that initial wish to go it for myself.
Anything wil be better than my current work. Blurgh!
So, I need to start teaching again.
My own set of books, all levels, beginner to advance. My own materials, tonnes of stuff. Simply loads of things, for all levels. Lessons plans. realia, all that stuff, even a few klines and exponents.
London isn't supporting my wish in one way, i.e looking for work, but it may support my wish to go it for myself.
London town, it's my home, I want to know it better, I still wnat to be able to do all that stuff, go places, do things, see London. I feel sure I could mix teaching and going out and doing stuff in London into one thing. Which is something no school here does, well, no, they do. But I want to do it another more in depth way.
Anyway, I need a few material things before I can even do any of this.
A computer = Check.
A printer of my own = erm, not a check, got to buy one.
Books = yep, need to buy them.
Materials = erm, need those too.
Money to buy them with = In process through very dull horrible work that takes away all my day.
So, as you can see, my thrive is alive once more. I want to work independently from others, for myself, by myself.
Because, that's going to give me so much freedom and happiness if I can pull it all off.
I think I should make all this my new years resolution. It's nearly Christmas, which means one thing for me.
TWO DAYS OFF WORK! YAY!
Sunday 17 December 2006
Tired, really tired.
I couldn't switch off last night, I lay there on the floor very hot, even with my window open and I couldn't sleep. I reckon it's stress related. My sudden change in circumstances are probably taking a small toll on my mind. It happened a few weeks ago. I got to the point where I put Classic FM on, which happened to play some of the most relaxing music I have heard in a while and before I knew it, I was sound asleep.
But only for 4 hours. I had to wake at 7 to be at the tube station for 7:45am. Not that early, but that was too little sleep.
I also realised today, not long ago, that the job I was doing had an unattached goal to it. No, not good wording. That's not what I mean.
The goal for the shop isn't related to anything I want to achieve. I just want the money. So I only do what is needed to get it, the rest doesn't matter.
Things shouldn't be that way. I don't like it.
But I'm really tired, achy, sore and I want to go to bed. Work again tomorrow and Tuesday, I have one one day off this week. One day to shop and do all the things I can't possibly do now.
Right. Night night.
But only for 4 hours. I had to wake at 7 to be at the tube station for 7:45am. Not that early, but that was too little sleep.
I also realised today, not long ago, that the job I was doing had an unattached goal to it. No, not good wording. That's not what I mean.
The goal for the shop isn't related to anything I want to achieve. I just want the money. So I only do what is needed to get it, the rest doesn't matter.
Things shouldn't be that way. I don't like it.
But I'm really tired, achy, sore and I want to go to bed. Work again tomorrow and Tuesday, I have one one day off this week. One day to shop and do all the things I can't possibly do now.
Right. Night night.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)