Holding back.

Good or bad, that's what I've been doing. I've felt like being very quiet, very in me. Not really sharing much. Both in blog and life.
I am definitely at that point where I want something different. I'm getting to the end of a tether and I really want to break free.

Home, home in many ways is comfortable. But then, in many other ways, it's quite stifling.
Work, work's ok, just about. It's still making me money, even though I didn't save anything at all last month. Not a penny.
Several things cropped up that required the use of cash, so I said "why not?" They involved going out and having fun. so, worth it by far.
Relationships, vacant and just not there.

Although I really want to save as much as possible. So I'm spending a heck of a lot of time, not getting up to much right now and not spending money.

Saying that, I'm due for a round of friend visiting soon. I'll be off to Ireland to see my large Irish mate. I'll be off to the coast of England to see another and to the "garden of England" as well. I've got to call another mate too.

Anyway, to decide to change my life, I have to let go of a few things. Namely preconceptions and old bad habits. It's harder than it seems. It's helping to be sick of a few things, see second paragraph.

I want to get away again, one of the things that's stopping that, is what I feel I owe to my past. The people I was with and things I said I'd do. Or thought I would do but now, current climate and requirements don't suit.

It's not doing me any favours hanging on to the past. It really isn't.

So, letting go begins now. It also means letting go of my preconceptions.

I think I can start to get going again.