Raging on.

I was a little aggravated today. Just a little. My Russian companion was having a laugh, and in all honesty, I too participate in these shenanigans. I don't mind the laugh, but I do mind it when it involves the work you need to do.

She's started to keep certain things to herself without explaining them to me, for the laugh. Which to say is quite a "grrr" moment for me, as I need to know these things to do the job. But, I really think if I'm being grown up about it, that this would partly stem from me too. In the way that I handle the situation. We both kind of goad each other on.

I know why I do it as well, because I'm bored. My soul is restless, it needs something more. Fulfilment, that currently alludes me.

Something that really has taken a back seat to earning a wage and saving cash. So can I really blame my situation on the old paper chase? (Paper chase means making money, but you probably got that one, 'cause you're smart.)

There are the other usual work related "grrs" during the day between people. But that's all life I suppose.

Actually, I have to consider my relationship to all these "troubles" I'm having at the moment. It's probably more a reflection of the current me, than anything else. I need to balance myself out. Become more measured. True that I'm struggling with my want for more, but I need to find that deeper part of me. The part that can ease me through all this. Take me where I need to go.
I've set myself up for some interesting times ahead though. I said "yes", to something just to say yes. I didn't even really have a reason. So in about a month or two, I'll be trying to do some more stand up. I've done 5 gigs before, they were kind of ok. Some worse than others. But I've had time to reflect on the experience and I feel I can take another step out there, into the void...

Hopefully I can make a proper go of it and find my much needed "soulfood".

Anyway, off that topic I want to have a rabbit with me mate. (That means, for the guys across the pond "I want to have a chat with my friend") It's been a while. I also want ot find out what his plans are, as he lives in Ireland and I need to plan a trip out there to see himself again.

Which means booking a holiday and I have to book all four weeks, before the end of this month or they will get allocated for me. Nuts. That's also a big kick in the nads, but, there we go.

Right, back to "wilfing" on the net. I do a lot of that nowadays...

Here's to more fun in the future.