Feeling better.

Much better. I'd say far from the perfect day, but I'm better.

I'm reaching a place in my head where I feel I should be. Where I want to move on to. It's one of these things that will take a little time to develop. It's something I want to pursue and it's gong to unfold as it will. It's not a predictable outcome situation.

Which is good. I shouldn't be allowed to be able to predict my own outcomes. That would be very bad. It would ruin a lot of the fun and suspense too.

So, when my opportunity presents itself, and I have the dingly danglys to pick it up and seize the moment, things should be way good. In all my bestest grammar speak. For the ups and downs. Much as it is now.

It's all part of that process in life and I am pleased for those times that wear me into the ground. That make me feel down. It's the place where I can look up and see what meeds to be fixed. A good mechanic is probably covered in grime I would guess. Well, even if he's not good, at least he's mucking in and trying to make the best of it.

Which is good.

I suppose a good measure of a person is one who can get the doof knocked from the ol' sails and still keep ticking.

I'm tired and am looking forward to a day off tomorrow. I'll be looking after a friend of mine. She's having a lot of teeth removed. All in fact. Got it in the face by wayward luggae once many moons ago and had her teeth wired in. So it's all coming out after many years. Enough is enough as she put it.

So, it can't be a nice prospect and I will be keeping an eye on her tomorrow, making sure all is well.

I'm going to get to read Harry Potter as well. A good excuse as any.

Till later...

Horoscope, from Jonathan Cainer.

There may be no use crying over spilled milk... but that doesn't mean you can swing to the other extreme and just leave it sloshing around on the floor. Milk swiftly turns sour and leaves a lingering odour that can take ages to eradicate. Mop it all up while it's wet, no matter how dispirited you may feel. Deal with what you'd far prefer to ignore. Be responsible. Neither shed tears for the past nor try to rewrite history. Just move on bravely and remember, you have absolutely nothing to feel ashamed of.

Bang on target.

I feel like being quiet.

I have recently, a part of me feels quite loud another bit of me is sitting very still and being quite quiet.

I don't know quite why? Although perhaps I do.

It was interesting this morning, I wont go into the details of what I was doing, it's not important, but it involved the use of my left and right hand.
I was doing two things at once, I found it very difficult to split the task between both hands. But, as soon as I switched my hands over, from my left to my right, I noted something I didn't expect. My right hand utilised more ingenuity with my neck and shoulder as an extra grasper.

Something that didn't happen with my left hand, worked in my right. It was like a part of my brain that was more developed, the part being dedicated to that hand, was better able to deal with the task than the other.

It was interesting. I wonder what my left hand would make of some stuff and my right the same...

In any case, that little quiet bit of me is a bit like my other hand. I don't know quite what it's doing or what it will do, until something occurs or changes.

Strange.

I also feel very distant from many things right now. People, especially. I also want to be distant. I've not been able to have five minutes to myself for a week or so now and I need it. I need my space. To clear my mind, so I can be me. I find it hard to be me with other people around.

In some ways I'm quite happy, although a large portion of my life is empty. I kinda wish I had some idea of where I was headed. What I want from my life at the moment. I have little things, but no large ones.

I've also been thinking about relationships a lot recently. I wonder if I'll ever be cut out for a long term one. I'm very independent. Not in an isolationist way, but I like my space.

I think of myself with another and as much as my heart so yearns it, another part of me really doesn't want to sacrifice that space. That being the part that has slightly more dominance.

There's also "the shadows in my mind" as I like to refer to them. Those thoughts of mine that are less than optomistic. The ones that look on the more negative side of life. They work without my knowing, until I see the contrast in light of day. It's almost like a part of me lies to myself.

Odd.

But these are just afew of my perceptions today. As I sit here, watching myself.