Sunday.

I should really not blog after I've been on the sauce. I should probably refrain from any internet activities whilst under the influence.

Gurgh!

Anyway, the past is still the past, what I had, is now well and truly gone. As it should be. The sun set on one day and has risen on the next.

It's a very final act to walk out a door for the last time. It comes more to my mind now having had one big closures to parts of my life that were completely different from the one I have here.
That very moment the door shuts behind you, the rooms, people, smells, textures all become an instant memory. No big send off, no special thing. It's kind of hollow, like a bubble that's burst.

I don't know quite how to sum up at the moment as I feel about it.

I looked forward to that moment, where I knew that I would never have to walk back those steps. See those things. Go through that journey again.

It's gone. It was, never to be again.

So, where now? I know the answer to that, mostly.

I know the things I'm going to do. Or, better written, I know the things I've planned to do. You can get in your car and say I'm going to drive to that place over there. But real living is in the experience, not that bit of fluff which circles round your head. Those loose fitting ideas.

I'm waiting in anticipation for how that road is going to feel. How it will unfold. All those unknowable ups and downs on the journey ahead.

It's all good. I also want to get out and about before the day gets to far ahead. I want to buy this weeks New Scientist. I need to buy a great load of vegatables, because my bowel movements (sorry) have been anything but pleasent the last few weeks. My schedule as it was, didn't allow for great eating habits. I wish to rectify that.

So a vegi soup is the plan for the day.

Ciao a tutti. I need to find a really good book to learn Italian with, or at least to keep me ticking over. Same with Chinese.