Bored.

Nobody needs to tell you, but you know. Suddenly, something changes and you just know that A will lead to B.

Like me now. Very bored. Xbox broke and there ain't flip all to do around this place. I feel like I've lost my mojo. Yeah baby.
I'm not saying that the xbox is my mojo, I just have little else to well up from the depths of my life at the moment.

I've given myself two years of making dosh, then I'm allowed to run amuck on planet Earth. Two years... a long time to do a 2 to 6am job. Wonder what next?

I'm very much aware that my life is going to change in big ways in the near future. Not the kind of from me changes, but rather those inevitable changes from life external. I will have to adapt. I will have to work. I will need to make money. Have a direction and purpose, something I want. 'Want' being very important, without that, you're just kinda wafting.

I'm stagnant water at the moment, I even smell a bit like stagnant water at the moment. Still no hot water, although I did wash down my smellier bits this morning before I headed out into the outside world that is London Town.

Oh yeah, no sooner had I mentioned that the weather was nice in my post this morning than the sky opened up and poured like you'd never seen before. There was also hail. I had my clothes on, shoes and bag at the ready and looked out the window. Bleurgh!

So I had to wait till that let up. I have no rain coat or brolly. I should at least buy a brolly.

Blimey I'm bored. I'm looking forward to a few days in Eire with me mate. He's actually here at the moment, he's not called, he said he would, but then he always says that. Such are his idiosyncrasies.

Urggghhhh....

What to do with my body? Something constructive I think...

Horoscope, from Jonathan Cainer.

A very fine astrologer indeed.

Is a new day really dawning? Well, why should it not be? Does not the sun rise afresh every morning? We take this for granted, not least because it happens whilst most of us are still asleep. If we could only perceive it for the miracle it truly is, we would wake from our slumbers in a state of divine rapture and inspired appreciation day after day, after day. A new day can dawn for you now. All you have to do to help that happen is to focus on what you feel grateful for, not what you resent.

Yeah. That's a nice one.

It's a bit of negative word to end on "resent", but like what he interprets from the stars say "what you feel grateful for". Indeed.

Quite a lot in my life.

It's also a sunny day.

Now to phone up the xbox customer support and use my manufactures guarantee. Valid for one year from day of purchase enabling free reapairs or replacement for the hardware. Which I forget about sometimes as I don't usually buy that much new hardware.

Now I've got everything I need, apart from the receipt. Ah! Where the heck did I put it? Did I chuck it in the bin? I really hope not...

Better start looking.

Before I go to bed.

Soon, so very soon...

The Xbox 360.

I'm English, if I spend most of my time doing anything on a cold wet windy day. It's playing on my lovely Xbox 360. Pretty much like any 30-ish year old male in England would do.
Yes, when the weather is absolute pants and I'm stuck for something to do, the xbox is a saving grace. It really really is.

I love my xbox, why just this morning I was thrashing the pants off of several Americans during a first person shooter. The name of which I can't remember. It's not important. I was having a grand old time unleashing hordes of death to my cousins across the pond.

In fact I'm really looking forward to joining forces with my mate in Ireland and wrecking some havoc in a virtual world at some point in the near future.

So, onto my conversational topic of the moment.

My Xbox 360 just upped and topped itself.

I was in the middle of playing the demo for Splinter cell and I reached a critical checkpoint.

The console froze.

So I waited...

... and waited...

... and waited...

Nothing.

I turned it off and turned it back on. Oh dear, I thought to myself noticing that the circle of light was now a doomly red colour. I knew instinctivly that something was horribly horribly wrong. We English 30 something males have that ability. Having been born around the time of the first immerging consoles.

It's in our blood.

So, I sit upstairs now. In my very cold room, wearing more clothes than I care to. Smelling like a yaks arse having not washed since Saturday (Thank you burst heating pipe). Needing very much to do something with my time on this somewhat shabby dull depressingly cold and bleak day.

I knew when I got my xbox, that that little sound, that tiny little "eeh eek" sound it made on occasion was a horrible portent of things to come.

I knew it.

In fact, it's quite probably karma, I did after all kill my original xbox and leave it in Italy. Perhaps it's spirit was out for revenge. If so, boy has it got it.

Cold, bored and smelly. That sums me up right now.

Meh.

I'll have to get it to the repair guys...

The weather.

I'm English, if I spend my time speaking about anything, ever, it's about the weather. Much like any English person.

When I'm stuck for conversation, I talk about the weather.

It's the basis for pretty much any conversation starter in this country. It'll get a mention at some point during a chin wag.

So, on to my conversational piece for today.

The heatings bust. A heating pipe burst, one of the main pipes gthat feed our estate in little ol' London town.
I found out before anyone else did. I even got to use the very last of the "hot" water when I showed at 5:15am before going to work.

Guess when it decided to burst. On a warm bright sunny day, Fabulous. No trouble I thought.

The very next day. Cold, wet and windy. As it's been and remained for the last few days. Just when some heating would have been welcomed in this now very cold house.

Meh. I also need a shower. Meh. I'll brave it later...

To express.

Is what I feel the need for at the moment. In fact, perhaps to turn inward and listen to myself. Feel my heart beat. Observe the seasons within myself.

I've another two days off. I'm going to relax and do nothing. I absorb quite a lot of crud. I also feel that I am unaware of this as well. Which is both good and bad.

So, a little rest is what I need. But only a little. Soon again my life will belong to another purpose beyond my control. My zombie life.

A zombie life. Hmm. Thankfully all is change and is ever changing.

One foot follows the other. One word after another, a sequence not making sense until you reach that full stop.

Lets see.

Back to life.

I agreed to do a comedy course with my mate.

Four lessons ending in a performance at a club somewhere. To be honest, I really don't feel like doing it, I didn't feel like doing it when I booked it. I just said "why not?" and did it. My heart wasn't there.

So why am I so caught up on it?

Could it be that I feel bad for standing my mate up? Nah. Not really.

Might it be that somewhere deep within there lies a little bit of my old performing self in there, that just wants to get out? ERm, maybe... but I do not feel it.

Am I lacking in something that I want? Dunno, can't be sure. There's a lot that I want. All of many things in many places I say.

I didn't go to the last one either, so I believe I've missed three. Of course, one of the things on my mind is that I can always do some comedy at any point I want. I only need to book a five minute gig. No trouble really. So whatever I do, or not, the option will always be there, so it's all good.

So, if I really don't want that, then what?

I've been entertaining notions of living far far away again. I'd love to live on a chain of islands somewhere. Go scuba diving, swim, enjoy the beach, stary skys, long sunny days.

But, I need to find out how. Although, that usually takes care of itself I've found. I lived in China and Italy, so I know it can be done.

Horoscope time methinks. From Jonathan Cainer...

If you can see the end from the beginning, you probably aren't planning to make much of a journey. Unless, just possibly, you are standing at the top of a mountain and your destination is another peak in the far distance. Then, by the time you've made your descent, travelled through the intervening valleys and ascended all over again, you will have passed through much challenging territory. Be adventurous now. Set yourself a goal you are not sure you can reach.

Hmm, a goal I think I cannot reach.
Outer space, nah, one day I will go, especially when it is cheaper and technology has come along.
Island life, like I just mentioned.
Getting into space and fighting some kind of intergalactic space battle.
Writing a book.

I dunno...

Hmm, thinky thinky...