Back to life.

I agreed to do a comedy course with my mate.

Four lessons ending in a performance at a club somewhere. To be honest, I really don't feel like doing it, I didn't feel like doing it when I booked it. I just said "why not?" and did it. My heart wasn't there.

So why am I so caught up on it?

Could it be that I feel bad for standing my mate up? Nah. Not really.

Might it be that somewhere deep within there lies a little bit of my old performing self in there, that just wants to get out? ERm, maybe... but I do not feel it.

Am I lacking in something that I want? Dunno, can't be sure. There's a lot that I want. All of many things in many places I say.

I didn't go to the last one either, so I believe I've missed three. Of course, one of the things on my mind is that I can always do some comedy at any point I want. I only need to book a five minute gig. No trouble really. So whatever I do, or not, the option will always be there, so it's all good.

So, if I really don't want that, then what?

I've been entertaining notions of living far far away again. I'd love to live on a chain of islands somewhere. Go scuba diving, swim, enjoy the beach, stary skys, long sunny days.

But, I need to find out how. Although, that usually takes care of itself I've found. I lived in China and Italy, so I know it can be done.

Horoscope time methinks. From Jonathan Cainer...

If you can see the end from the beginning, you probably aren't planning to make much of a journey. Unless, just possibly, you are standing at the top of a mountain and your destination is another peak in the far distance. Then, by the time you've made your descent, travelled through the intervening valleys and ascended all over again, you will have passed through much challenging territory. Be adventurous now. Set yourself a goal you are not sure you can reach.

Hmm, a goal I think I cannot reach.
Outer space, nah, one day I will go, especially when it is cheaper and technology has come along.
Island life, like I just mentioned.
Getting into space and fighting some kind of intergalactic space battle.
Writing a book.

I dunno...

Hmm, thinky thinky...