I can't leave till I'm wearing me scoobies.

Just so you know, you wont be able to use ya regular Tom, Dick and Harry to understand this.

I get up in the liz about 5:15am. I like to 'ave me eiffel right after, it gets me goin'. I 'ave enough harry for that.
I look out the old burnt with me mince pies and it ain't 'alf dark.

I go down the apples and get me meat in me scoobies, then I can set off.

The old ball and chalk only takes about 18 minutes. I don't use a bloater or a joe not enough sausage in me mash. If ya understand me dicky birds.

There was no Mork and Mindy or pleasure this morn, so it was quite a nice ball and chalk.

When I'm in, I need to do the finances. I don't ave to use my jazz bands to count the sausage though. I've got a machine for that. The jobs a Glen Hoddle.
One thing though, there's never enough taxi drivers going round if you ask me. Not enough to splash about.

The usual cuddle I work with didn't do the stuff with me the other day. The cadbury swirl I did it with is just a bit chicken oriental if you want to know. Can't stand 'er, she gets on me wick. She had a horse and cart in the room the other day, I couldn't escape. It was a bit rank for this ol' lemon squeezer. She's also got a big gang and don't know when to shut it.

She can't count the bin lids either. Her maths is terrible. It all goes a little Pete Tong when she does it with me. Those apple scores are counted way off the mark.

Anyway, me cuddle was Tom and Dick this morning, she 'ad to 'ave a posh duke in the head. She weren't at all bow bells, a little pony. But what d'ya do?

My Pitch is still a bit blind bat. But at least I've saved up a bag of sand, which is all Robin Hood.

Anyway 'bout time for the old Michael Winner. I bet none of the wooden gte me meaning though.