Putting things off.

What's spurned me to write just before I go to bed from a very nice "all day to myself day" is my horoscope from Jonathan Cainer.

I've been thinking this everyday for two months pretty much. I've been whailing about not working closer to home. Namely so I can work earlier and save myself two hours in each day and 80 quid per month.

Here's the horoscope, it was the first thing which sprung to mind. I think I've got to be firstly, fair with myself and secondly, f**k off what I may think anyone else thinks. This is only my life. No one elses.

They say we should save for a rainy day but what if that rainy day never comes? What if there is an endless drought? What if the sun beats down relentlessly upon us? What if we are obliged to spend the whole of the rest of our lives just lazing in the deck-chair of opulence? What use will our investment be then? I am, of course, being facetious. But only slightly so. You are now putting off something that you really ought to bring forward. Waiting won't actually help anyone or anything.

Perhaps I should, rather than wait. It may well be I have to wait a while anyhow and will only have to wait all the longer to be transfered if I put off asking the question.

No harm in it.

Well, I'd better be clear how to ask them and to whom I should speak too.

I doubt I'll ever fully lose my sense of guilt as to what others think and how I feel I should behave according to that. Which is crazy. Because a, I don't know and b, it robs from everyone by presuming. That cannot be doing anyone any favours. Especially me at the moment. Regardless of being right or wrong.

I think I've got a bullet to bite tomorrow.

At least it means I'm doing something about my situation now, rather than letting things carry on as they are.

Right, good night/very early morning.